Apparantly, I can find Meaning in "the holidays" by going in a Hallmark store and keep with or start a Tradition. Great, another thing to feel guilty about: not getting my daughter her first ornament.
16 December 2009
06 December 2009
A Christmas Song
I just saw A Christmas Carol with my husband and five children. It was a great movie, and the children were reasonably well behaved. After we were robbed out of 33 dollars for the tickets (and I had one free pass) we of course didn't get snacks or drinks. I had cookies and water in my bag anyway.
I love A Christmas Carol. It's probably my favorite Dickens' book, and one of my favorite themes in Xmas tv shows. I started out the movie by laughing several times at Scrooge, and his...scroogieness of taking the coins off Marley's eyes, and shushing the carolers. That was especially funny to me, since I unwillingly listen to Xmas music at work. But, his diatribe against Christmas to his nephew didn't make me laugh, but think and quietly agree. A time for "paying bills without money" and "finding yourself a year older" but not a bit richer. Those things I soberly agree with, and struggle with every year of my adult life. I always am/seem poorer at Christmas.
Christmas in a Childproof bottle
I just checked the label on the bottle of pills I have to order from Canada because I don't have health insurance, and it doesn't say anything at all about guaranteeing my Xmas spirit. I have hardly ever had any, you know.
I used to think that Christmas would be my defining moment, when I would receive the life-changing gift that would make me prettier, smarter, but most of all: popular, or at least more well liked. But, of course, there is no such gift, and every year after the opening of presents, I would feel deflated and depressed. It also didn't help that I was the only child and was watched strenuously (in that peculiar way that parents of only children do) to gage my reaction and, I feel, to validate my parents and their life choices. Whew! Being an only child is hard! But that's another blog................
One of my best Christmas's was my little brother's first Christmas. I was so glad to have him there, in the floor with me by the tree. His very presence gave me a purpose (in helping him open his presents) and a long awaited feeling of normalcy.
I hope this Xmas, the first one with my long awaited daughter, will also be good. If I could take a pill to make it so, I would.
I used to think that Christmas would be my defining moment, when I would receive the life-changing gift that would make me prettier, smarter, but most of all: popular, or at least more well liked. But, of course, there is no such gift, and every year after the opening of presents, I would feel deflated and depressed. It also didn't help that I was the only child and was watched strenuously (in that peculiar way that parents of only children do) to gage my reaction and, I feel, to validate my parents and their life choices. Whew! Being an only child is hard! But that's another blog................
One of my best Christmas's was my little brother's first Christmas. I was so glad to have him there, in the floor with me by the tree. His very presence gave me a purpose (in helping him open his presents) and a long awaited feeling of normalcy.
I hope this Xmas, the first one with my long awaited daughter, will also be good. If I could take a pill to make it so, I would.
04 December 2009
On Man
What is the opposite of misogynist?
Because that's what I am.
It's wrong to hit women, it's okay to hit men
(when they've cheated)
Male OB-gyn's should be castrated
Female urologist? Get over it.
I don't have sour grapes
There are just way too many
Balls here.
Because that's what I am.
It's wrong to hit women, it's okay to hit men
(when they've cheated)
Male OB-gyn's should be castrated
Female urologist? Get over it.
I don't have sour grapes
There are just way too many
Balls here.
13 November 2009
01 November 2009
Halloween Adventures
You can't trick or treat in Myrtle Beach (or the Grand Strand) without a Golf Cart. I never saw or heard of this before we moved here, but I understand that golf-cart-treating has spread to some other areas, such as Charleston. Presumably they meet disapprobation and not envy in the Holy City. I'm not sure if the other weird or odd things I saw are singular to the Grand Strand, or widespread.
When did teenagers start trick or treating, most of them sans costumes?My lovely father used to fuss at pre-teens and teenagers when they came to our door to get candy, ask them how old they were, and spout off a probably made-up law about no teenagers trick or treating. In Charleston, I often saw "no costume, no candy" signs. I'm sure those are other places; I may put one up next year.
The ubiquitous pillowcase is back in business for Halloween. That generation or two ago icon of Halloween is back and better than ever.Mostly carried by teenagers and some of those ADULTS we saw trick-or-treating. Why did this happen? To get more candy or be some neo-cool hipster in a way I don't understand?
My middle child (my Great Eater) was very excited about trick or treating this year. A new Kindergartner, he is all about rules and procedures. What fun to hear him tell his eleven year old brother the etiquette of trick or treating, such as when the houses lights are off, that means they are "closed" and the lights on means they are "open". I asked him how he knew this, and he just shrugged. Maybe he has been listening as I have repeatedly told his older brothers again and again the rules for everything. I guess for boys, 1 out of 3 is an okay ratio. When we got home he was very generous with giving out (his brothers') candy, and watched from the windows for people approaching. Once he had just treated a large group of people at the door, he said "wow we had a lot of customers, didn't we Daddy ?" Because of his generosity, we ran out of candy early and my husband decided to turn off the light. After we turned out the light, he opened the window and shouted at some approaching people "I just wanted to let you know we're closed. We're out of candy and business!"
To be honest, our last trick or treater was 30 something woman in regular clothes without a child with a pillowcase. Last pixie stick. I wonder what my dad would say to those adults without kids without costumes?
When did teenagers start trick or treating, most of them sans costumes?My lovely father used to fuss at pre-teens and teenagers when they came to our door to get candy, ask them how old they were, and spout off a probably made-up law about no teenagers trick or treating. In Charleston, I often saw "no costume, no candy" signs. I'm sure those are other places; I may put one up next year.
The ubiquitous pillowcase is back in business for Halloween. That generation or two ago icon of Halloween is back and better than ever.Mostly carried by teenagers and some of those ADULTS we saw trick-or-treating. Why did this happen? To get more candy or be some neo-cool hipster in a way I don't understand?
My middle child (my Great Eater) was very excited about trick or treating this year. A new Kindergartner, he is all about rules and procedures. What fun to hear him tell his eleven year old brother the etiquette of trick or treating, such as when the houses lights are off, that means they are "closed" and the lights on means they are "open". I asked him how he knew this, and he just shrugged. Maybe he has been listening as I have repeatedly told his older brothers again and again the rules for everything. I guess for boys, 1 out of 3 is an okay ratio. When we got home he was very generous with giving out (his brothers') candy, and watched from the windows for people approaching. Once he had just treated a large group of people at the door, he said "wow we had a lot of customers, didn't we Daddy ?" Because of his generosity, we ran out of candy early and my husband decided to turn off the light. After we turned out the light, he opened the window and shouted at some approaching people "I just wanted to let you know we're closed. We're out of candy and business!"
To be honest, our last trick or treater was 30 something woman in regular clothes without a child with a pillowcase. Last pixie stick. I wonder what my dad would say to those adults without kids without costumes?
23 October 2009
Cyclical closet
Due to a variety of circumstances ( My oldest two boys are small-normal size and my third one is BIG, the fourth one is skinny) I have seen some of the same clothes in the closet for nine years. Most clothes are not "resting" except for their off season, and are just passing from boy to boy to boy.
11 October 2009
Why I am a Liberal, abbreviated version, part one
I grew up in a conservative home, in a conservative geographical area and with my parents (actually just my mom) attended a church that was way right of conservative. My first memories, which take place in the very early 80's, are of a time when conservatism, religion and morality were all wrapped up in Reagan. This was the time of the backlash against the social and societal reforms of the 60's and 70's. I believe everyone felt insecure and as if their life was without moorings, so turned to the security: the Bible and God, particularly the Hebrew scriptures (old testament) fire and brimstone/hell and damnation God.
My parents and nearly everyone I knew in childhood was a Republican, even though the 80's were a time of inflation and working class people suffered from trickle down economics and the slow closing of programs and phasing out of funding that typified that era. I may also add that there was a pervasive anti-feminism sentiment present in the area and that church.
But somehow I was a feminist! Was it from TV or movies? I don't know, but I remember Geraldine Ferraro on the billboard and "ERA" signs in peoples yards which actually a type of real estate agent, but I thought it stood for Equal Rights Amendment. I remember telling my father he was a male chauvinist pig, although I had no inkling what it really meant. We girls can do anything, right Barbie?
Roots and all it's sequels aired when I was a child, and then Queen when I was a teenager. I tried to befriend african-american girls (except they were "black"then) The friendships didn't work out to well, perhaps because they would have been contrived, or maybe because Our Town was segregated, as far as neighborhoods and churches go. It probably still is. When my mother moved to Our Town with her family in 1969, it still had "whites only" and "colored" signs up in businesses.
So how did I end up a liberal who votes democrat but is much more to the left? Was I a micro victim of the liberal media brainwashing me into discarding my families' values? I don't think so. I think for most people, for me anyway, politics and beliefs are internal and inborn. I tried to follow the groove, stay in the lines and parrot back what I was told, but I couldn't do it. Not about religion, not about feminism, not about politics.
I am still a product of the south. I struggle with lingering prejudices, a desire to label and lingering evangelical fearfulness. And I struggle with how to raise my children. I don't want them pointing at those from other cultures openly ( or in secret) as I see people doing and making comments about dress or hair or propensity for stealing. But I want them to respect and acknowledge differences as well. America is a melting pot, after all. Anyone else have tacos, pasta, barbeque and chinese in a given month (or week)? No? Just me?
My parents and nearly everyone I knew in childhood was a Republican, even though the 80's were a time of inflation and working class people suffered from trickle down economics and the slow closing of programs and phasing out of funding that typified that era. I may also add that there was a pervasive anti-feminism sentiment present in the area and that church.
But somehow I was a feminist! Was it from TV or movies? I don't know, but I remember Geraldine Ferraro on the billboard and "ERA" signs in peoples yards which actually a type of real estate agent, but I thought it stood for Equal Rights Amendment. I remember telling my father he was a male chauvinist pig, although I had no inkling what it really meant. We girls can do anything, right Barbie?
Roots and all it's sequels aired when I was a child, and then Queen when I was a teenager. I tried to befriend african-american girls (except they were "black"then) The friendships didn't work out to well, perhaps because they would have been contrived, or maybe because Our Town was segregated, as far as neighborhoods and churches go. It probably still is. When my mother moved to Our Town with her family in 1969, it still had "whites only" and "colored" signs up in businesses.
So how did I end up a liberal who votes democrat but is much more to the left? Was I a micro victim of the liberal media brainwashing me into discarding my families' values? I don't think so. I think for most people, for me anyway, politics and beliefs are internal and inborn. I tried to follow the groove, stay in the lines and parrot back what I was told, but I couldn't do it. Not about religion, not about feminism, not about politics.
I am still a product of the south. I struggle with lingering prejudices, a desire to label and lingering evangelical fearfulness. And I struggle with how to raise my children. I don't want them pointing at those from other cultures openly ( or in secret) as I see people doing and making comments about dress or hair or propensity for stealing. But I want them to respect and acknowledge differences as well. America is a melting pot, after all. Anyone else have tacos, pasta, barbeque and chinese in a given month (or week)? No? Just me?
05 October 2009
On the Care and Feeding of Sick Children
This being the 6th year I have had child in school, so I am well versed in illness. But wait, let me back up. Today is my oldest son's 11th birthday, and he was a very sickly child. He started getting ear infections when he was just a few months old. He got everything that went around, sometimes twice. Roseola, 5th disease, croup, hand foot and mouth, strep throat, stomach viruses, pneumonia. From the start, I was very inept with and unsympathetic to illness. Which is unlucky, since I ended up having five children and for some reason, the little buggers get sick a lot! So, over the years, I have developed some strategies to deal with illness, and even prevent it (at little).
First of all, don't be too clean! I can't stress this enough. Overly clean moms have kids who are always sick. And have allergies (which I don't believe in, but that's a whole other day). Why do they do this to their kids and themselves? It just makes extra work and it doesn't help anything.
Next, don't go to the doctor. In appearance, the Dr's office is an overly clean place, but naturally it is crawling with germs, most likely different from the germs your kids have. And you just know the doctor is going to make you wait and wait and wait, and you will go home empty handed with advice on fluids that you already knew. Or, even worse, go home with an antibiotic your child doesn't need.
When your child has already succumbed to some sort of illness don't coddle them. School nurses especially tell the children how sick they are and tell the parents how serious it is on the phone (so the parent will come pick them up). So by the time you get your kid from school, they are probably convinced they're dying. The first thing I do when I pick up a sick kid from school is tell him how fast he will get better in a very matter of fact way. Then go home, and if it's cold outside, open the windows. Fresh air is very good for sickness and germs don't like the cold. Living in the south, we also have our very own natural humidifer and vaporizer--outside! Save money whenever you can, you'll need it for your wine.
Here is some other advice:
Don't let a sick child out of doing chores. They need to learn what life is really like and in the real world you work when you are sick. (Unless of course you are a man and then you lay around and do nothing when you are sick the day after your wife was sick and you claimed to not be able to miss work).
First of all, don't be too clean! I can't stress this enough. Overly clean moms have kids who are always sick. And have allergies (which I don't believe in, but that's a whole other day). Why do they do this to their kids and themselves? It just makes extra work and it doesn't help anything.
Next, don't go to the doctor. In appearance, the Dr's office is an overly clean place, but naturally it is crawling with germs, most likely different from the germs your kids have. And you just know the doctor is going to make you wait and wait and wait, and you will go home empty handed with advice on fluids that you already knew. Or, even worse, go home with an antibiotic your child doesn't need.
When your child has already succumbed to some sort of illness don't coddle them. School nurses especially tell the children how sick they are and tell the parents how serious it is on the phone (so the parent will come pick them up). So by the time you get your kid from school, they are probably convinced they're dying. The first thing I do when I pick up a sick kid from school is tell him how fast he will get better in a very matter of fact way. Then go home, and if it's cold outside, open the windows. Fresh air is very good for sickness and germs don't like the cold. Living in the south, we also have our very own natural humidifer and vaporizer--outside! Save money whenever you can, you'll need it for your wine.
Here is some other advice:
Don't let a sick child out of doing chores. They need to learn what life is really like and in the real world you work when you are sick. (Unless of course you are a man and then you lay around and do nothing when you are sick the day after your wife was sick and you claimed to not be able to miss work).
Tell stories about how children used to die from strep throat, etc. This always cheers my children up.
Tell labor and deliver stories. This will make your child (or son) so uncomfortable, he will want to get better as fast as possible to get away from you.
Most importantly, don't lose your cool, but I have no advice on how to do this, having lost my cool with sick kids many , many times.
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